Lojong Practice Journal: Don’t act with a twist
The 59 slogans through a social justice lens
“Don’t act with a twist” is calling us to pause and reflect on what expectations we may have about the outcomes of our actions. The simplest example I can think of would be how we show generosity. Generosity is one of the paramitas, often listed as the first due to how it leads us to cultivate the others. As a paramita, generosity is about opening our hearts and learning to stretch the edge of our comfort zone. The practice of generosity isn’t a practice of giving; it’s a practice of letting go.
When we give — time, energy, gifts, money — as part of a deeper practice, the giving itself is our motivation. But when we give with the expectation of gratitude or a particular response from the recipient, the “giving” now has a twist to it.
This transactional approach to anything we do creates barriers between us and others. It means no one can ever truly be sure of our motivations. Did we offer to pick something up for a friend just because we could, or will we hold onto it as proof of something owed to be called on later? Did we make a donation to a cause because we believe in it, or did we want a thank you letter as proof of our generosity? Did we post in solidarity with a group fighting for justice and equity because we believe in those things, or because it would make our “brand” look good?
Acting with a twist is about how we manipulate situations or people for personal gain, but it’s also how we motivate ourselves. Living under Capitalism, personal gain at the expense of others is seen as a good thing. Most of us have been taught to limit our ideas of what is valuable, and to view almost any interaction with a transactional lense. We think in terms of exchange based on what Capitalism teaches us has worth. If we grew up without access to a lot of wealth, we have also internalized messages about “pulling ourselves up by the bootstraps” or that we only get to rest once we have “earned it” (ie. After you give your time and energy for a less than or barely living wage you can retire and have maybe a decade to do what you enjoy). The effect of this messaging doesn’t just impact us as employees, but in every aspect of our lives.
To not act with a twist is to be in authentic relationship with ourselves as much as with others. In being authentic to myself, I’ve learned to question these messages of Capitalism and how they influence me as a practitioner and activist.
When I first started looking for a sangha about two years after I started on this path, I expended a lot of energy trying to convince people of what a good little Buddhist I was. I wanted to ̶c̶l̶i̶m̶b̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶c̶o̶r̶p̶o̶r̶a̶t̶e̶ ̶l̶a̶d̶d̶e̶r̶ earn all the pins and prove my worth. It didn’t take long to notice just how gross this felt for me. I knew my practice could not hinge on the recognition of others, but the habits of Capitalism run deep and are hard resist.
As I began to wake up to this pattern of behaviour that certainly was not unique to me, I reflected on where else I could see it in my life. When I was younger, I burned out in my activism because so much of it was about showing people my dedication no matter what. I believed taking a break or asking for help might come off as a lack of commitment — laziness not self-care. The cultural expectation in a lot of the activist spaces I spent time in during the late nineties and early oughts was that a True Activist was on the frontlines at all times. It was no wonder so many of my peers and I eventually burned out.
I’m not saying that wanting recognition is bad — it is a fundamentally human thing to want to be seen and valued for who we are and the contributions we make. It is important to honour the labour involved in social change and uplift those who contribute in both big and small ways. We can also recognize the depth of someone’s practice and honour them as a great teacher when they step into that role. But recognition cannot be the only motivation nor the central one.
For me, not acting with a twist is about asking if what I am about to do will be conducive to liberation. This orientation helps me to say “No” to things I may have said “Yes” to out of ego when I was younger. It helps me protect my energy and honour my boundaries. Most importantly, to not act with a twist is a reminder to check-in with our choices so they are aligned with what we stand for and not simply about what will make us look good.
Originally published on Medium.
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This slogan points to one thread in a complex knot: Giving and taking. I had to think again of the famous saying by Jesus: "But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you" (Matthew 6:3–4). I would put it a bit differently: give and forget about it. Don't expect any reward, just do it because it is the right thing to do.
Maybe all our activities can be seen in that light. We may be giving time and attention and care besides money or gifts and expect some reward but the work should be its own reward. Of course it is vital that effort is acknowledged in some way, but that should not be the main motive for something.
I worked many years as a librarian, in a basement. Having to catalogue books could be a real challenge. There are specific rules one has to follow, and sometimes I spent hours with a book trying to find out informations about the author or publisher, or I grappled with a book in several volumes which all looked differently. It took a lot of time and thinking to catalogue some books, but nobody except another librarian would ever appreciate the effort that had been necessary to solve that problem because in the end there was just another entry in the catalogue like thousands of others. No fireworks, when it was done, no public proclamation of gratitude. I did, what I did, because it was my job, and I took some pride in my work even if nobody else could see that it was good.
I guess my time as a librarian was good practice because I was generous with my attention to detail. There are so many ways to be generous just because it is the right thing to be.