We are a far more enlightened society than we were fifty or one hundred years ago, but as this past election has proven, we still have some way to go. This is not a case of good people versus bad, but about how all of us can be better.
The only way we can be better is by learning to relate, by listening to and understanding our various experiences. Our embodiments are not insignificant; they don’t exist in a vacuum, and we shouldn’t ignore them on this path of collective awakening. At the same time, the more we are willing to look at ourselves, to understand our motivations and how we strive for comfort, ease of mind, a sense of belonging and safety on a personal level, we come to understand that this is what everyone strives for.
I hear so many justifications for anger. Many people will say their anger drives them, motivates them, helps them. But anger is what got us to where we are. Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it. In the entire recorded history we have to look at, I can’t find a single example when aggression led to resolution. It may have stopped one form of violence temporarily, or suppressed it, but it did not resolve it.
Anger communicates to us where our boundaries have been touched, where we have not been seen or understood. But to act from that anger is dangerous, no matter how justified we feel. We must act from a place of compassion, from wisdom and clear seeing that all beings want what we want. Acting from compassion does not entail condoning wrongdoing, nor is it complacent in the face of violence, oppression and fear. Compassion, when it is wholehearted, is an act of relating with and therefore a recognition that for one individual to heal, we must all heal.
I do not encourage pushing ourselves into traumatic situations, as trauma breeds fear and fear is also not a useful place from which to act. Listen courageously, seek to understand, remain open-hearted when possible and focus on self-care when you can’t.
But when you can, be fiercely compassionate. Be uncompromisingly compassionate. Wield compassion like the warrior for change that you are, that any of us are.
As a human being, as someone who wants what is best for myself and those I love, I recognise that my wellbeing must never be at the expense of anyone else’s wellbeing. I am not talking about a utopia, a divine garden of Eden. I am merely talking about our human capacity for love. Not romantic love but love as an ability to care for the wellbeing of others. Love as the antidote to apathy, to disregard. Love as the thing that can free us from fear, anger and hatred.
Resources/Further study:
Elizabeth Mattis-Namgyel on being a Bodhisattva and choosing compassion over fear.
Mahzarin Banaji on how to notice our implicit bias and what it means to recognise that we are good, but we can all become better people.
Zenju Earthlyn Manuel on the importance of not disregarding embodiment, but disregarding the perversions surrounding embodiment.
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Originally published on Medium