It is interesting. Observing myself reading this slogan I realize that I try to find exceptions, because obviously some people are awful or rather behave in an awful way and surely I must be able to talk about all the terrible things these people do (tyrants, terrorists, bigots – whatever). Would calling Putin a war criminal fall under the heading "to malign someone" or isn't it rather a sober analysis of reality?
Maybe it is typical that I immediately fixate on the big stuff. Maybe I ought rather to look at the small fry, the day to day events. The driver who is unobservant and whom I label "idiot", the sales person who doesn't understand what I'm talking about and whom I label "stupid". I don't say it to their faces but I think it, and I might talk about them to others when we share stories of idiots and stupid people. It is all about fixed ideas on my side. When I manage to relax in the situation the labels vanish again.
The variants to the slogan you mentioned seem to cover something else, the heat of the moment. When we're in a fight with someone of get an unpleasant letter for instance. In that moment we're prone to lash out. We feel attacked and get defensive. That is a situation when it is important to take a breath or two (or five) and relax before answering. By that time the energy has somewhat dissipated and we have regained our composure.
I have made it a practice to be especially polite when someone annoys me. Not so much for the sake of the other person but for myself.
As for the big stuff, at one point I answered negative comments about all kinds of issues made on various platforms: Covid, environmental destruction etc. Even there I tried to be polite. But I guess it didn't change anything. Those with entrenched ideas don't listen to arguments. But somebody undecided might read the thread and start thinking.
It is interesting. Observing myself reading this slogan I realize that I try to find exceptions, because obviously some people are awful or rather behave in an awful way and surely I must be able to talk about all the terrible things these people do (tyrants, terrorists, bigots – whatever). Would calling Putin a war criminal fall under the heading "to malign someone" or isn't it rather a sober analysis of reality?
Maybe it is typical that I immediately fixate on the big stuff. Maybe I ought rather to look at the small fry, the day to day events. The driver who is unobservant and whom I label "idiot", the sales person who doesn't understand what I'm talking about and whom I label "stupid". I don't say it to their faces but I think it, and I might talk about them to others when we share stories of idiots and stupid people. It is all about fixed ideas on my side. When I manage to relax in the situation the labels vanish again.
The variants to the slogan you mentioned seem to cover something else, the heat of the moment. When we're in a fight with someone of get an unpleasant letter for instance. In that moment we're prone to lash out. We feel attacked and get defensive. That is a situation when it is important to take a breath or two (or five) and relax before answering. By that time the energy has somewhat dissipated and we have regained our composure.
I have made it a practice to be especially polite when someone annoys me. Not so much for the sake of the other person but for myself.
As for the big stuff, at one point I answered negative comments about all kinds of issues made on various platforms: Covid, environmental destruction etc. Even there I tried to be polite. But I guess it didn't change anything. Those with entrenched ideas don't listen to arguments. But somebody undecided might read the thread and start thinking.