"Don't talk about injured limbs." Now I take that, at first sight, to mean: Stop complaining and whining about your aches and pains. When I was a child, visiting my grandparents, I was often there when they had elderly relatives over for coffee and the conversation would unfailingly turn to the latest trip to the doctor and to the various ailments they suffered from. I thought to myself: "I hope I never start talking about illnesses and pains. This is so boring." Now I've reached an age where I myself complain of various ills and pains and I catch myself and think: "You have become your grandparents."
It would seem that my first interpretation of the slogan is wrong. That it means in fact not to talk about other people's injured limbs (I want to keep that phrase for now). Why would one talk about other people's injured limbs? One reason might be to commiserate with the person in question. What happened? Does it hurt? Do you need any help? These questions seem to me quite natural. In fact it would be rude to ignore that someone suddenly wears a bandage or has a cast. However, the next step is more tricky. Say the person in question tells you that she broke her leg while skiing. At that point judgment might stick up its ugly head. "Skiing? Everyone knows that skiing is dangerous. Serves her right."
I think it is the judgmental part that is dangerous. And this is probably most evident when it comes to physical handicaps (I am sorry, I cannot bring myself to use phrases like "differently abled" because they gloss over reality). You meet someone in a wheelchair and think: "Would I want to live like that?" So there is a judgement about what sort of life is livable. I can't help it. These thoughts arise. And then you meet people. A year ago our so I was travelling home late one evening and in the train there was a woman with an electric wheelchair and we started talking. She had been at a film festival in another city and had there taken photographs and collected autographs of celebrities. That was her hobby. She travelled all over the country from one festival to the other. She showed me the autograph books and some of the photos she'd taken. Of course, travelling by wheelchair is a challenge. Not all trains are equipped to accommodate wheelchairs, one has to ask for help in advance. This woman had conquered all those difficulties. She was cheerful and full of beans. So here I was with my preconceived notions about what life in a wheelchair implies and I realised that I had a very narrow view of what is possible.
So, what does that mean in terms of this slogan? Maybe: don't fixate on the injured limb, see everything else that is still there. Don't fixate on physical perfection. Or any sort of perfection. Perfection is an illusion and doesn't make people happy.
Thank you. Very interesting piece of thinking. As you write, words matter. I think I will continue using the word handicapped rather than disabled because the handicap is imposed on these people, not by whatever the way their body or mind is shaped but how society limits their possibilities to live their life fully. There are no ramps for wheelchairs or they are too steep, there are no banisters, there are no lines on the ground to guide the visually impaired etc. Yesterday I read an article about two people who want to be elected to the local council. One is deaf, the other sits in a wheelchair. If they are elected they won’t be able to take their place in the council. Debates are not translated into sign language and the building can not accomodate the heavy wheelchair. That is the handicap, not their bodies. There are laws about accessability but they remain on paper because adapting all the bus stops would cost too much. It is very upsetting.
But some things are changing. I find it very interesting that more and more one can see handicapped people especially on British tv or stage and their physical disability is not addressed. They may lack a hand or are dependent on a wheelchair but that is not a defining part of the character. They just are the way they are. I find that wonderful. The same way that we no longer have token blacks or token gays in entertainment, who are reduced to their one defining trait. Visibility is crucial.
As a disabled person, I request you not use the term handicapped unless a disabled person tells you they prefer it. It's not exactly "bad" but it's widely considered outdated. It also, similarly to 'differently-abled', assumes there is a standard by which ability should be measured and not meeting that standard means the individual has a handicap, so as to my piece, it is language that turns the issue into a personal, medical one, rather than a social one.
'Disabled' serves the function of framing society as disabling. Although, of course, sometimes something simply is disabling. For example, society disabled my partner and I by not encouraging masking in public spaces, making it unsafe for us to participate in almost all indoor gatherings, but also, sometimes I dislocate something and I am physically disabled from walking while recovering. It's a both/and thing and why the disabled community largely asks those outside of it (for now, since pretty much everyone will experience disability if they live long enough) default to 'disabled' unless someone specifically asks them to use a different term or person-first language instead.
Thank you. I certainly didn't mean any disrespect. I will use "disabled" from now on. For me the important point is that there are two kinds of disability. The restrictions our bodies impose on us and the ones imposed by society. The second one is caused by ignorance and lack of empathy and of course the ideology of the perfect body or mind.
Exactly! It's the social model versus the medical model and I take the approach that the medical model isn't 'wrong' anymore than the social model is 'right', but that to have a fuller, accurate view we need to look at both and how they function together.
I also highly recommend the work of Imani Barbarin, particularly for bringing awareness to how disability is talked about in the media: https://crutchesandspice.com/
And Lucy Webster, a BBC journalist, recently published an excellent memoir and has a great blog unpacking the many angles of disability as a social issue: https://lucywebster.substack.com/
This is a wonderful reflection on the slogan, and I also don't think your initial interpretation was wrong at all. It's neat to read your reflection on it as something directed to your own experience and actions and words, rather than about directing it outwards on others.
Just reading your reflection has made me think about it from that angle for myself and how I could consider talking about injured limbs as almost a way of making excuses. Not in the ableist way of assuming disability is just about not trying hard enough and something to be overcome, but but how I might tend to use an injured limb as a way to bypass when I have caused harm. Like using anxiety to excuse snapping at my partner when I am feeling worn down. They may comment that I said something kind of nasty, and my choice is to acknowledge that and apologize, or I could just as easily say, "I'm super anxious right now!" as if that justifies saying something snippy.
Regardless, I think your assessment of the course of a judgemental attitude applies. Again, to relate it to the above example, if I am judging my partner for being unfair for stating that I said something mean, then I'm giving myself a free pass from judgement, ie: I cannot be held accountable for the thing I said because I feel bad right now and that absolves me of accountability, instead of, regardless of how I am feeling, I don't get a free pass for saying something hurtful.
"Don't talk about injured limbs." Now I take that, at first sight, to mean: Stop complaining and whining about your aches and pains. When I was a child, visiting my grandparents, I was often there when they had elderly relatives over for coffee and the conversation would unfailingly turn to the latest trip to the doctor and to the various ailments they suffered from. I thought to myself: "I hope I never start talking about illnesses and pains. This is so boring." Now I've reached an age where I myself complain of various ills and pains and I catch myself and think: "You have become your grandparents."
It would seem that my first interpretation of the slogan is wrong. That it means in fact not to talk about other people's injured limbs (I want to keep that phrase for now). Why would one talk about other people's injured limbs? One reason might be to commiserate with the person in question. What happened? Does it hurt? Do you need any help? These questions seem to me quite natural. In fact it would be rude to ignore that someone suddenly wears a bandage or has a cast. However, the next step is more tricky. Say the person in question tells you that she broke her leg while skiing. At that point judgment might stick up its ugly head. "Skiing? Everyone knows that skiing is dangerous. Serves her right."
I think it is the judgmental part that is dangerous. And this is probably most evident when it comes to physical handicaps (I am sorry, I cannot bring myself to use phrases like "differently abled" because they gloss over reality). You meet someone in a wheelchair and think: "Would I want to live like that?" So there is a judgement about what sort of life is livable. I can't help it. These thoughts arise. And then you meet people. A year ago our so I was travelling home late one evening and in the train there was a woman with an electric wheelchair and we started talking. She had been at a film festival in another city and had there taken photographs and collected autographs of celebrities. That was her hobby. She travelled all over the country from one festival to the other. She showed me the autograph books and some of the photos she'd taken. Of course, travelling by wheelchair is a challenge. Not all trains are equipped to accommodate wheelchairs, one has to ask for help in advance. This woman had conquered all those difficulties. She was cheerful and full of beans. So here I was with my preconceived notions about what life in a wheelchair implies and I realised that I had a very narrow view of what is possible.
So, what does that mean in terms of this slogan? Maybe: don't fixate on the injured limb, see everything else that is still there. Don't fixate on physical perfection. Or any sort of perfection. Perfection is an illusion and doesn't make people happy.
Also, on "differently-abled" glossing over reality, I wrote a piece on getting comfortable with saying disabled being about getting comfortable with acknowledging the ways society casts disabled people as second-lass citizens: https://open.substack.com/pub/kschatch/p/its-okay-you-can-say-disabled?r=ntqgr&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
(And yeah, we are all differently-abled, rendering the phrase meaningless)
Thank you. Very interesting piece of thinking. As you write, words matter. I think I will continue using the word handicapped rather than disabled because the handicap is imposed on these people, not by whatever the way their body or mind is shaped but how society limits their possibilities to live their life fully. There are no ramps for wheelchairs or they are too steep, there are no banisters, there are no lines on the ground to guide the visually impaired etc. Yesterday I read an article about two people who want to be elected to the local council. One is deaf, the other sits in a wheelchair. If they are elected they won’t be able to take their place in the council. Debates are not translated into sign language and the building can not accomodate the heavy wheelchair. That is the handicap, not their bodies. There are laws about accessability but they remain on paper because adapting all the bus stops would cost too much. It is very upsetting.
But some things are changing. I find it very interesting that more and more one can see handicapped people especially on British tv or stage and their physical disability is not addressed. They may lack a hand or are dependent on a wheelchair but that is not a defining part of the character. They just are the way they are. I find that wonderful. The same way that we no longer have token blacks or token gays in entertainment, who are reduced to their one defining trait. Visibility is crucial.
As a disabled person, I request you not use the term handicapped unless a disabled person tells you they prefer it. It's not exactly "bad" but it's widely considered outdated. It also, similarly to 'differently-abled', assumes there is a standard by which ability should be measured and not meeting that standard means the individual has a handicap, so as to my piece, it is language that turns the issue into a personal, medical one, rather than a social one.
'Disabled' serves the function of framing society as disabling. Although, of course, sometimes something simply is disabling. For example, society disabled my partner and I by not encouraging masking in public spaces, making it unsafe for us to participate in almost all indoor gatherings, but also, sometimes I dislocate something and I am physically disabled from walking while recovering. It's a both/and thing and why the disabled community largely asks those outside of it (for now, since pretty much everyone will experience disability if they live long enough) default to 'disabled' unless someone specifically asks them to use a different term or person-first language instead.
Thank you. I certainly didn't mean any disrespect. I will use "disabled" from now on. For me the important point is that there are two kinds of disability. The restrictions our bodies impose on us and the ones imposed by society. The second one is caused by ignorance and lack of empathy and of course the ideology of the perfect body or mind.
Exactly! It's the social model versus the medical model and I take the approach that the medical model isn't 'wrong' anymore than the social model is 'right', but that to have a fuller, accurate view we need to look at both and how they function together.
Eli Claire is a great source of insight on this balance: https://eliclare.com/
I also highly recommend the work of Imani Barbarin, particularly for bringing awareness to how disability is talked about in the media: https://crutchesandspice.com/
And Lucy Webster, a BBC journalist, recently published an excellent memoir and has a great blog unpacking the many angles of disability as a social issue: https://lucywebster.substack.com/
This is a wonderful reflection on the slogan, and I also don't think your initial interpretation was wrong at all. It's neat to read your reflection on it as something directed to your own experience and actions and words, rather than about directing it outwards on others.
Just reading your reflection has made me think about it from that angle for myself and how I could consider talking about injured limbs as almost a way of making excuses. Not in the ableist way of assuming disability is just about not trying hard enough and something to be overcome, but but how I might tend to use an injured limb as a way to bypass when I have caused harm. Like using anxiety to excuse snapping at my partner when I am feeling worn down. They may comment that I said something kind of nasty, and my choice is to acknowledge that and apologize, or I could just as easily say, "I'm super anxious right now!" as if that justifies saying something snippy.
Regardless, I think your assessment of the course of a judgemental attitude applies. Again, to relate it to the above example, if I am judging my partner for being unfair for stating that I said something mean, then I'm giving myself a free pass from judgement, ie: I cannot be held accountable for the thing I said because I feel bad right now and that absolves me of accountability, instead of, regardless of how I am feeling, I don't get a free pass for saying something hurtful.