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Shenpa. Learning about shenpa, about how we continually get hooked and triggered has meant a great deal to me. Over the years I have managed to defuse some of the triggers, like one of those bomb disposal experts who know which wire to cut. But there are many wires. Yesterday I got triggered again. I noticed it (difficulty 1) but I couldn't change my reaction on the spot because I was interviewed on the telephone for a survey and the person on the other end didn't give me any break but continued with their interminable questions.

It was of course an interesting lecture, because it showed me where I was vulnerable: I was caught in a bad moment (I was tired); the questions I was supposed to answer were very long, so it was hard to keep them fresh in my memory (I was stressed); it seemed the questions were skewed (which I think is a bad sign In a survey), and the person doing the interview had a heavy accent which made it harder for me to understand the questions. These are all things that would mildly irritate me normally. Yesterday these things irritated me massively – shenpa, here we come again.

My inner bomb disposal expert has work left to do. So thank you, survey person, for annoying me yesterday. Hopefully by the next survey I'm more composed.

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