This is mostly about holding grudges and the need to get even. I sometimes am glad that my memory has limited capacities (it's fully occupied with movies and books and other interesting stuff). I often forget that somebody owes me something or that somebody had said something unpleasant, or better yet, I don't react to those things in real time. Sometimes I get a response from a bystander: "Oh, I didn't like the way she spoke to you. I thought that was uncalled for" and I had already forgotten about it. The times I have managed to hold a grudge I found it tiring. Ever since I started on the path of Dharma I've become more observant of myself: how I react, what a reaction does to my body, how letting go feels. And I have learned to acknowledge that I am ultimately responsible for being angry. I find that very helpful. And instead of plotting revenge I try to be extra polite to people who managed to annoy me. But I don't think I could be bothered with plotting revenge because it is time consuming and ultimately unhealthy. I rather fill my days with having friends for lunch or reading a nice book.
This is mostly about holding grudges and the need to get even. I sometimes am glad that my memory has limited capacities (it's fully occupied with movies and books and other interesting stuff). I often forget that somebody owes me something or that somebody had said something unpleasant, or better yet, I don't react to those things in real time. Sometimes I get a response from a bystander: "Oh, I didn't like the way she spoke to you. I thought that was uncalled for" and I had already forgotten about it. The times I have managed to hold a grudge I found it tiring. Ever since I started on the path of Dharma I've become more observant of myself: how I react, what a reaction does to my body, how letting go feels. And I have learned to acknowledge that I am ultimately responsible for being angry. I find that very helpful. And instead of plotting revenge I try to be extra polite to people who managed to annoy me. But I don't think I could be bothered with plotting revenge because it is time consuming and ultimately unhealthy. I rather fill my days with having friends for lunch or reading a nice book.